QB版孔乙已

BlackFeather

泷原市的魔法少女，是和别处不同的：四色战队：黄毛学姐，红毛杏子，黑毛晓炎，还有蓝毛的我，都是当街突然变身，结界里预备着魔女使魔什么的，可以随时打杀。做魔法少女的人，傍午傍晚放了学，每每花一两个小时，杀一杀魔女，——这是一年前的事，现在每个魔女都会伴着使魔了，——学姐杏子靠结界边站着，打了使魔喝了红茶吃着苹果休息；倘肯多花一小时，便可以遇到魔女，如果打败了魔女，那就能得到哀叹之种，但现在这些结界里，多是使魔形态，大抵没有哀叹之种。只有夏洛特神马的，才钻进结界的房子里，要零食要奶酪，慢慢地坐着吃。
　　我从十五岁起，便在泷原市当了魔法少女，学姐说，我样子太八嘎，怕对付不了魔女，就在结界里杀点使魔。结界里的使魔，虽然容易对付，但是没有哀叹之种。学姐往往要亲眼看着我从***变成魔法少女，看这是使魔还是魔女，又亲看我将使魔清理干净，然后放心：在这严重监督下，想去打个魔女也很为难。所以过了几天，学姐又说我干不了这事。幸亏馒头卡的情面大，学姐对我辞退不得，便改为专为学姐补枪这样的无聊职业。
　　我从此便整天的站在结界里，专管我的使魔。虽然没有什么失职，但总觉得有些单调，有些无聊。学姐是一副凶脸孔，声气教人活泼不得；只有QB到了，才可以笑几声，所以至今还记得。
　 QB是魔法少女战队里不穿衣服的唯一的生物。它身材很圆润；苍白脸色，皮肤间时常夹些伤痕；一部乱蓬蓬的花白的耳朵。虽然什么都没穿，可是又白又嫩，似乎十多年没被蹂躏，也没有洗。它对人说话，总是和我签定契约吧，叫人半懂不懂的。因为它姓Q，而且很二，所以别人替它取下一个绰号，叫作QB。QB一进队，所有魔法少女便都看着它笑，杏子叫道，“QB，你脸上又添上新伤疤了！”它不回答，对学姐说，“来两个哀叹，要刚黑化的。”杏子又故意的高声嚷道，“你一定又诱拐无知少女了！”QB睁大眼睛说，“你怎么这样凭空污人清白……”“什么清白？我前天亲眼见你试图诱拐馒头卡被黑长直抓到了，吊着打。”QB便涨红了脸，额上的青筋条条绽出，争辩道，“传教不能算诱拐……传教！……外星人的事，能算诱拐么？”接连便是难懂的话，什么熵啊，什么马猴烧酒之类，引得众人都哄笑起来：队里充满了快活的空气。
　　听人家背地里谈论，QB原来也诱拐了很多少女，但终被揭穿，又不会营生；于是愈过愈囧，弄到将要讨饭了。幸而有得一幅好口才，便替人家传传教，换一碗饭吃。可惜它又有一样坏脾气，便是好说懒做。做不到几天，传教来的少女，一齐失踪。如是几次，叫它传教的人也没有了。QB没有法，便免不了偶然做些诱拐的事。
　　QB吃过半个哀叹，涨黑的脸色渐渐复了原，杏子便又问道，“QB，你当真认识小圆么？”QB看着问它的人，显出不屑置辩的神气。她们便接着说道，“你怎的连半个小圆也捞不到呢？”QB立刻显出颓唐不安模样，脸上笼上了一层灰色，嘴里说些话；这回可是全是宇宙平衡之类，一些不懂了。在这时候，众人也都哄笑起来：队内外充满了快活的空气。
　　在这些时候，我可以附和着笑，学姐是决不责备的。而且学姐见了QB，也每每这样问它，引人发笑。QB自己知道不能和她们谈天，便只好向孩子说话。有一回对我说道，“你知道魔女之夜吗？”我略略点一点头。它说，“知道，……我便考你一考。魔女之夜，怎样打的？”我想，讨饭一样的生物，也配考我么？便回过脸去，不再理会。QB等了许久，很恳切的说道，“不知道罢？……我教给你，记着！这些技能应该记着。将来打魔女之夜的时候，要用。”我暗想我和学姐的等级还很远呢，而且学姐也从不让我打魔女；又好笑，又不耐烦，懒懒的答他道，“谁要你教，不是组队硬上，实在不行趴下装死等小圆变成魔法少女逆转吗？”QB显出极高兴的样子，将两个耳朵敲着柜台，点头说，“对呀对呀！……小圆变成魔法少女后很强的，你知道么？”我愈不耐烦了，努着嘴走远。QB刚用耳朵蘸了酒，想在柜上写字，见我毫不热心，便又叹一口气，显出极惋惜的样子。
有几回，其他魔法少女听得笑声，也赶热闹，围住了QB。它便给她们一人一哀叹之种。少女用完种子，仍然不散，眼睛都望着QB。QB着了慌，伸开耳朵将种子罩住，弯腰下去说道，“不多了，我已经不多了。”直起身又看一看种子，自己摇头说，“不多不多！多乎哉？不多也。”于是这一群少女都在笑声里走散了。
　　QB是这样的使人快活，可是没有它，别人也便这么过。
　　有一天，大约是中秋前的两三天，学姐正在慢慢的喝茶，取下灵魂宝石，忽然说，“QB长久没有来了。还欠十九个哀叹呢！”我才也觉得它的确长久没有来了。喝酒的杏子说道，“它怎么会来？……它打折了腿了。”学姐说，“哦！”“它总仍旧是诱拐。这一回，是自己发昏，竟诱拐黑长直去了。黑长直啊，诱拐得了吗？”“后来怎么样？”“怎么样？先被停时，后来是打，打了大半夜，再打折了腿。”“后来呢？”“后来打折了腿了。”“打折了怎样呢？”“怎样？……谁晓得？许是死了。”学姐也不再问，仍然慢慢的喝她的红茶。
中秋过后，秋风是一天凉比一天，看看将近初冬；我整天的靠着火，也须穿上棉袄了。一天的下半天，没有一个使魔，我正合了眼坐着。忽然间听得一个声音，“来一个哀叹。”这声音虽然极低，却很耳熟。看时又全没有人。站起来向外一望，那QB便在柜台下对了门槛坐着。它脸上黑而且瘦，已经不成样子；穿一件破夹袄，盘着两腿，下面垫一个蒲包，用草绳在肩上挂住；见了我，又说道，“一个哀叹。”学姐也伸出头去，一面说，“QB么？你还欠十九个哀叹呢！”QB很颓唐的仰面答道，“这……下回还清罢。这一回是现场卖萌，哀叹要好。”学姐仍然同平常一样，笑着对他说，“QB，你又诱拐少女了！”但它这回却不十分分辩，单说了一句“不要取笑！”“取笑？要不是诱拐，怎么会打断腿？”QB低声说道，“跌断，跌，跌……”它的眼色，很像恳求学姐，不要再提。杏子也围了过来，便和学姐都笑了。我拿了个种子，端出去，放在它手里，见它满手是泥，原来它便用这手走来的。不一会，它吃完种子，便又在旁人的说笑声中，坐着用这手慢慢走去了。
　　自此以后，又长久没有看见QB。到了年关，学姐取下粉板说，“QB还欠十九个哀叹呢！”到第二年的端午，又说“QB还欠十九个哀叹呢！”到中秋可是没有说，再到年关也没有看见它。
　　我到现在终于没有见——大约QB的确玩脱了。

http://tieba.baidu.com/p/1400287732

雾都弦歌

英文版：
Magical Girl of the former City of Long River, and elsewhere: the team of four colors: yellow hair sister school, red Mao Xingzai, Xiao Yan, black hair, as well as blue hair, all the streets suddenly turned, enchantment, prepared with the witch's magic what the , you can always frantic violence. Do magic girl, evening Bangwu clerking, often spend an hour or two to kill the one to kill the witch - This is a matter of a year ago, and now each witch will be accompanied by magic, - sister school apricots standing side rely on enchantment, hit the magic drink tea eating apples rest; if willing to spend an hour, they can experience the Witch if the witch is defeated, it will be able to lament the species, but these nodes sector, mostly to make the magic shape, probably did not lament the. Charlotte god of horses, and only got into the house of enchantment, Snacks, cheese, sit and eat slowly.
From the age of 15, I will be in the former City of Long River as a Magical Girl, school said Tuesday eight Ga, I like too afraid to deal with not witch, kill point to make magic enchantment. Enchantment of magic, easy to deal with, but did not lament the species. Sister school often watched me become a magical girl from *** This is the magic or witch, and pro-see I will make magic to clean up, and then rest assured: This is a serious under the supervision of, go out and play a witch very difficult. So a few days, the sister school said that I could not do these things. Thanks to the sensibilities of the bread card, the sister school to my dismissal shall not be changed to specifically make up the gun for the sister school to such a boring career.
I will never be the whole day standing enchantment, specifically to deal with me to make magic. Although there is no dereliction of duty, but always feel a little monotonous, a bit bored. Sister school is a fierce face, lively and shall not complain teach people; only QB to, we can laugh a few times, so it has to remember.
QB is the only biological Magical Girl team with no clothes on. It is very rounded body; pale face, skin, these wounds often folder; a matted gray ears. Although nothing to wear, but white and tender, it seems more than a decade not to be ravaged, nor wash. Its people speak, always, and I signed a contract, the Jiaoren half understand it or not. Because it is last name Q-and very two, so the others on its behalf to remove a nickname called the QB. QB a team, all the magic girls will watch it laugh, apricots cried, QB, your face have added on new scars! "It does not answer, the school said Tuesday," to two to lament, to just black of "apricots and deliberately loudly shouted," You must abduction ignorant girl had "eyes wide open the QB said," so how do you out of thin air pollution reputations ... "" What is innocence? day before yesterday, I personally see you trying to abduction bread card, long black straight caught hanging on to play the QB will be flushed, the veins on the amount of roads ek argues, "The missionary can not be considered abduction ...... missionary! ... alien thing , abduction can count it? "a series is difficult to understand what entropy Shochu, horse monkey, attracted the crowd to laughter: the team is full of jolly air.
Listen to people privately to talk about the QB original abduction a lot of girls, but were eventually expose, it will not make a living; so more over the more embarrassing, get to be begging the Fortunately, something a good oratorical skills, will be restricted to the well-known missionary, a bowl of food to eat. Unfortunately it had the same bad temper, is either good or lazy to do. Can not do a few days, missionary to the girls, together missing. Case several times, call it the missionary. QB method, they inevitably do occasional abduction thing.
QB eaten half lament, rose black face gradually restored, and apricots in turn asked the QB, do you really small round it? "The QB looked at who asked it, show the disdain Zhibian air. They will then said, "one reason or another not even half of the small round also fishing for less than it?" The QB immediately show deserting disturbed appearance, his face cage on a layer of gray in his mouth to say something; this time, but the whole universe The balance of the class, some do not understand. At this time, the crowd laughter together: the team inside and outside filled with a happy air.
At these times, I can go along with the laughter, the sister school is never to blame. Sister school met with the QB, but also often it amusing. QB know and they talk, they go to speak to the children. Once I said, "Do you know witch night?" Slight nod. It said, "I know ... I will test a test the night of the witch, how to play?" I would like, begging like creatures, with test it? Will Turn your face to no longer ignore. QB waiting for a long time, and said very earnestly, "do not know to stop? ... I teach you, remember! These skills should be remembered. Playing the night of the witch in the future, use." I thought to myself and a sister school the level is still far, and the sister school will not let me to play the witch; and funny, and impatient, lazy replied, "Who needs you to teach the team hard, it is not to get on the ground playing dead small round to become a reversal of Magical Girl? "QB showing a very cheerful, two ears pounding the counter, nodded and said," Yes Yes! ...... small round into a magic girl, very strong, you know? "I am more impatient efforts with his mouth open far away. QB just dipped in wine, with our ears want to write in the cabinet, see I am not enthusiastic about, sighed again the breath, showing very sorry for the way.
Several times, and other magic girl could hear the laughter, but also to catch the lively, surrounded by the QB. It will give them a lament of the species. The girls run out of seed, still lingers, the eyes are looking at the QB. QB with a panic, stretched ears covering the seeds, bending down and said, "Not much, I have not straightened up and take a look at the seeds, his shaking his head said," not much not much more than almost Kazuya? not much. "So this group of girls have become separated in the laughter.
QB is such a happy people, but without it, others will be so too.
One day, about two or three days of the Mid-Autumn Festival before, the sister school are slowly tea, remove the soul gem, suddenly said, "the QB long. Also owe nineteen lament" I also think it indeed a long time. Said of apricots to drink, "how come? ...... Legs were broken." School, she said Tuesday, "Oh!" It's always still abduction. This time, their own giddy, actually abduction of the long, straight black to long, straight black ah abduction got it? "Then how?" how? first stop, then play, hit the middle of the night, and then discount the leg. "" What happened then? "later discount leg of the "discount what?" "How? ...... Who knows? dead." sister school do not ask, still slowly drinking her tea.
Mid-Autumn after autumn is colder every day to see nearly winter; all day against the fire, it must be put on cotton-padded jacket. Day a long time, no one to make magic, I was co-eyes sitting. Suddenly heard a voice, "a lament." This sound is very low, very familiar. See Shiyou full. Stand up and out a hope, that QB will be under the counter on the threshold sit. On his face black and thin, has been horrendous; wearing a to break Jiaao tray with legs, underneath a Calceolaria, with straw tangled in the shoulders; he saw me, said, "a lament." School sister also head out to, she replied, "QB, what? you still owe nineteen lament!" the QB very deserting his back and replied, "It's the next time to pay off the strike and this time the site to sell Meng, lamenting better. "sister school still, as usual, smiled and said to him, QB, abduction of girls the back but it does not differentiate between very single one said" Do not make fun of! "" make fun of? either abduction , how could interrupt the legs? "QB whispered," broke, down, down ...... "it glances, much like pleading sister school, do not mention. Apricots around, they all laughed and the sister school. I took a seed-side out, placed in its hands, and see it hands with mud, that it will came up with this hand. Soon after eating seeds, blamed in the laughter of the others, sitting with this hand slowly walked.
Since then, long time no see the QB. Of the year, the sister school to remove the powder board that the QB is also owed to nineteen lament it! "To the second year of the Dragon Boat Festival, and that" QB still owes nineteen lament! "Mid-Autumn Festival but did not say, and then of the year did not see it.
I finally see - about the QB really play off.

玉石俱焚

中文的看的很明白，英文的我看得就像火星文！不过中文的也没看太懂！！！你可以更明白点表达！词都看懂了，但是组成一句话就看不懂了！！！

梦灬落枫飞雪

英文版的不需要吧，我看了英文版了之后就晕过去了。

BlackFeather

回复 3# 玉石俱焚


    我可以很负责的说中文版就是孔乙已里面换几个名字

邯郸小溪

雾都你亮了。

BlackFeather

回复 6# 邯郸小溪


    就让他骗骗分吧

说谜

英文版的拿来干嘛？
俺们论坛难道有外国滴？
表示某人骗分都木有技巧性...
你就是发繁体的我都没话说~~~

落落苏

我会说英文的那货真的很坑爹吗？

慕容晓佳

咱们论坛好像还真有英文货- -